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About Traditional Art / Hobbyist Core Member Eris AiryceUnited States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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Reverting Back

Journal Entry: Sat Aug 6, 2016, 1:00 AM
Guys, I have a confession. (This is former Hei-Chan btw- Yes, I'm not dead.)
After all the Japan fiasco and moving to Hawaii and shit, I really can't get it out of my head. No matter how much I try to find another job or another dream I still end up falling back to my manga-ka dreams. It's been more than a year now. I don't tell this to my family. In a way I am ashamed for coming back empty handed after all that time and money I spent in Japan chasing the dream. I got a bit of experience and a graduation certificate but damnit I wasn't able to hold a job to support my life.

My real confession is; I'm a stupid little girl. I fell in love with guy who didn't love me back and I let that disappointment make me run away. I was so sad and upset in Japan that I opted to run away saying that "I need a new life." But in reality I was just really hurt and I couldn't concentrate on my career and dreams because of stupid childish emotions.

I went back to Hawaii, spent years getting a college degree, stayed away from anime and manga because it reminded me too much of my past disappointments. I tried to hard to start a life being a different person.

But the truth is, drawing and manga is what I know. It's what I love. Now I don't know what to do in life. It haunts me every night. And on my death bed my biggest regret would be that I left Japan. I should have worked harder, swallowed the pain and held on during the tough times.

I don't belong in this life I have rebuilt for myself. I lost myself and everyday it tears away at my very being that I am trapped in this regretful state.

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CenaFenrier
Eris Airyce
Artist | Hobbyist | Traditional Art
United States
2012: I'm a second year student in Japan. Gonna enter manga school next year.
2013: I'm a first year student in Japan studying Manga.
Still hoping to find that Nakama Rival I've always been dreaming of.
Someday I hope to change the world like Gintama.

2014: Now, I'm a second year manga artist in training. I still haven't found my Rival but I sure found great friends. My world is changing every day.
2015: I've moved country once again with a fresh slate. Come what may.
2016: I was suppose to stay in Hawaii for 3 months and I've now been here for a year.

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:iconhotaruin:
Hotaruin Featured By Owner May 13, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy birthday! //v//
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:iconkkcfan101:
kkcfan101 Featured By Owner May 13, 2016
Happy Birthday :cake: ^J^
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:iconmarikokitty:
Marikokitty Featured By Owner May 13, 2016  Student Traditional Artist
Happy Birthday :airborne:
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:icongarnett303:
Garnett303 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2015
*Bouncy bouncy bouncy excited!* 0_0!! So close to incoming outlines!
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:iconliv-is-alive:
Liv-is-alive Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2015
Thank you so much for watching me ! : D Real happy about your interest. I actually also have FB: www.facebook.com/livisalive
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